Feeling comfortable and confident in your own skin is such an important aspect of being in the swinging lifestyle. Mingling and flirting with other couples, dressing in sexy outfits, and getting naked with friends and strangers can take a lot of emotional stamina when it comes to body image.
For me, body image can be a bit of a roller coaster ride. One morning I’ll wake up and all I see is cellulite and saggy skin. The next day, I look in the mirror and see sexy curves and soft smooth skin. My mind plays tricks on me. Swingers come in every size and shape. Some have seemingly perfect beach-ready bodies while others are contentedly obese and embrace their size.
I can oftentimes get trapped into comparing myself to everyone else in the room. How do I rank? Who is prettier than me, who is skinnier than me, who has better curves than me, whose hair is silkier than mine? This mental obsession is not fun or sexy.
Over and over, men tell me that confidence is what makes a woman sexy. Confidence in ourselves physically, but also emotionally and spiritually. I’ve had the most fun at events where my confidence was rocking.
Confidence isn’t built overnight and you can’t just will it into existence. But over time, little actions can consistently build confidence in your body and yourself. Here are a few self-care tricks to support confidence.
1) Only wear outfits that make you feel absolutely sexy, beautiful and confident. This might mean shopping takes longer. Wearing something you already own is almost always better than settling for something new that you don’t feel comfortable in.
2) Spend extra time primping before you go out. Build anticipation for the night by taking some extended time to attend to all the little details.
3) Decide that you are going to the event with an intention to meet others and learn about them. This takes the focus off yourself. Other people are nervous and self-conscious as well. Think about how relieved they will feel when someone (you) goes out of their way to say hello.
4) Keep a stash of your favorite beauty supplies at home and use them often. Personally I love using sugar scrubs in the shower. My skin feels so soft when I step out. When I use aromatherapy massage oils, I take extra time to really massage my body the way a lover would.
5) Smile at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself what a beautiful, sexy, wonderful person you are. Yes, say that out loud. Everyone is beautiful and wonderful in their own way. You are a gift to the world. Knowing that and sharing it with others is sexy!!
6) Take care of yourself daily. Eat food that is nourishing and delicious. Drink plenty of water. Move your body in a way that feels good and makes you happy. I’m not talking about diet and exercise. I’m talking about embracing life a little bit every day.