Although you may never encounter this problem, jealousy when couples swap is an important topic to discuss. However, with a few simple discussions and plenty of honest communication, you can avoid having any troubles in the lifestyle.
Talking To Each Other
The main glue that holds any swingers relationship together is communication. Without the ability to talk, you won’t be able to sort out problems as they occur or prevent ones from happening. And in terms of sharing sexual fantasies–well that will never happen if you’re too embarrassed or self-conscious to discuss certain things with your partner.
A lot of people will blame the problem of non-communication on the male in the relationship, but it’s simply not true. When couples don’t talk about their problems, it becomes an issue for both parties in the relationship. Actually, a lot of women remain quiet because they’ve learned to not ‘rock the boat’ in terms of saying things that may be less than favorable. This isn’t the time to worry about being gentle; you need honest and open communication for such a relationship to work.
Talk about your concerns and what might make you jealous before you even get into a couple swapping scenario.
And If I Feel Jealous After Everything Has Begun?
This is also completely normal to go through when you’ve just started couples swapping in the lifestyle. Some women have uncomfortable feelings when put into ‘competition’ with another woman. Of course, once she realizes that she’s still number one to her partner, her confidence level will grow.
But until that time, you will want to set up regular discussions about how you’re feeling while active in the lifestyle. Is there something that might help one of the partners feel more secure?
Many times couples can choose a signal or some sort of way to show each other their devotion. It can be something as simple as making sure to caress and touch their partner before going off with another partner. You may also decide that you want to reserve certain actions (kissing on the lips, for example) for just the two of you.
This keeps that act a special moment reserved for your commitment to each other.
Is Jealousy Healthy?
Surprisingly enough, a certain degree of jealousy is healthy for a relationship because it naturally leads to a discussion of the importance of commitment. And it can lead to each partner revealing the depth of their love for each other.
Jealous can cause you to step back and reevaluate your place in your partnership. It can point out the strengths and uncover the positive parts.
When it becomes unhealthy is when it’s used as a tool against the other person.
You don’t want to try to make someone jealous as that can be seen as some sort of test to a relationship. And that’s not the point of couples swapping. Your relationship should already be strong–constantly challenging each other does not help.
Couples’ swapping does not need to include jealousy, but if it should become an issue, take a breath and talk about it. It’s usually just a bump along the way, not a road block.