Being successful in the lifestyle requires a loving and trusting relationship with your partner and peers. Communication is also key and plays a vital role. In addition, many lifestyle couples and singles have set rules and boundaries that are integral to their swinging prosperity.
If you haven’t done so already this year, now is a great time for everyone to review their own personal guidelines or begin scripting new ones. Creating rules and guidelines allows everyone to be on the same page while enjoying the lifestyle. Here are a few discussion items for you and your partner to help start the process.
What Are You Hoping to Achieve from the Lifestyle: This is a good starting point. Ask yourself the following questions to help define your relationship and what you hope to accomplish from the lifestyle:
- What it is about the lifestyle that I like?
- What kind of relationships am I looking for?
- What are some of the activities that I will engage in?
What is it that Your Partner is Willing To Achieve from the Lifestyle: The lifestyle is all about couples having a great sexual experience together, so ask yourself the following questions:
- What are some of the activities my partner is willing to engage in?
- What are some of his/her hard limits?
- What are some of his/her soft limits?
Have a Discussion About Your Findings: Sit down together and go over the answers to the questions above. Be open and honest with each other about your feelings on the lifestyle and activities that you want to engage in. Try not to not approach this conversation as a negotiation, but rather as an opportunity to learn more about each other’s thoughts, feelings, and motivations.
Make Realistic Rules: It is important to come up with rules that makes you both comfortable.
Always Stick To the Rules: The rules are there for a reason. Don’t start to change them or make up new ones as you go along. You and your partner can always revise the rules, but make sure you both agree on the new rules.
Discuss Your Experiences with Your Partner: Take the time out to let your partner know what you enjoyed and what you didn’t so you are both on the same page for the next playtime.
Update the Rules Overtime: There are many reasons why the rules may need adjustments over a period of time. It could be because of difficulties in the relationship, Illness, work or family issues, of just the stress of everyday life. It is important to keep the lines of communication open and revisit your swingers lifestyle rules ever so often.
Keep in mind that your individual and/or collective preferences can change and grow in a healthy and happy manner if you work together as a team. Now review these guidelines with your partner and see if the lifestyle is right for you.